All You Given Me Is All This Cheese

Thank you to our pals Sub-Fobias and the Geery Theater for having us perform! If you weren't there... you have certainly made more terrible choices in your life. We not only made new songs on the spot (to show how much we actually rule) but also added value to our performance art. I'm just assuming you're uncultured and just don't care about real live art. History making art.


But thanks again to you, the middle class, for coming to see us and giving your 5 bucks to us. Our next show is at the Elbow Room with Bleached Palms and Father President at June 6! SF, you know you've been jealous of your bigger brother, Sacramento... so now is your chance to get back at him by seeing us lust over your cheap beer and hipster women.

Yes, give what daddy wants (That's the major of Miami!)

Home Is Where I Want To Be

I have that song stuck in my head...

But that's not the point. This Saturday we're going to continue our domination of Sacramento's precious gold at The Geery Theatre, 2130 L St at 20th. It's 5 bucks with our friends, The Sub-Fobias,  so don't buy pizza. You're getting fat.

YES WE CAN TOUR WINTER TAKES ALL TOUR EPISODE 3

SYNOPSIS:

We have finally made it to Long Beach, our 2nd location on tour. Our friend, Lauren, was really nice to offer her place for us to crash in. There was a gut feeling this show was going to be a total awkward sour fest and it did. The venue didn't book a opening band like it said it was going to do! We did promote the hell outta this one but no one came cuz the venue freakin' blew. Here's what we did before, during, and after that horrible, crappy night. Also, the person in charge of all this was no help either... WHATEV. Luckily, Lauren had Settlers of Catan. That shit rules.

This one is a bit longer because of the long wait. Not like you fucks were begging for it but you should have because your an idiot.

P.S. If you can find the spelling error you'll get a free blow hole.

THIS RIVER IS OVERFLOWING WITH SEXINESS TOPPED WITH A WHIPPED CREAM OF LUSTTT!!!!!!

I don't know if I will ever get around making another episode simply because I am lusting so fucking hard. Looks like rehab hasn't done a thing to me and I need another intervention. Adam is going to have my balls on a rope and wash himself with them. ARRRRG OMG SO SORRY SO SORRY *sad face with tears* =*(

Sup, gurl?

Anyway, we got a lotta work ahead of ourselves while we mix our new album and book our endless summer tour. We are once again playing in Sacramento this Saturday with our friends with benefits, The Sub-Fobias at The Geery Theatre, 2130 L St at 20th. It's 5 bucks! So, in case you were that dumb to miss all three Sac-Town shows well then we certainly gave you the benefit of the doubt and a 2nd chance to redeem yourself as a human being! 

Now I will continue lusting HARD. 

(Pun totally intended) 

Papa... why do you smell funny?

YO

Sorry for the lack of updates and crap. Honestly, nothing really juicy or interesting happened the last few days. I was feeling a little down lately because the Tampa Bay Rays have been bumming me out sooooo freaking much! They're 2-8 right now! Not only that, Evan Longoria is on the disabled list and Manny Ramirez retires in the beginning of the season! Dumbass got caught with PED's AGAIN. What an ass hat. I can't believe this! I am sooooooo sad! He barely did anything for the team and Manny went on being Manny and left the game with no dramatic bat at plate appearance.

That's why I am dedicating this entry to Manny. I hope that you have found happiness in leaving the team and being caught with some drug shit. You went out not in a blaze of glory but instead a firecracker that didn't even blow up.

"Whooops! I'm an idoit!

OH YEA! And congratulations to Carlos Silva who got the job with the Yankees and signed some minor league shit.  I mean even though all the good people are gone and the Yankees figure were scraping the bargain bin, someone still cares about you and your ridiculous high ERA.

"I'm hella chil, dude."

So, in terms of band stuff. Nothing. I just want to rant about some baseball shit. Tough luck you losers. However, I guess another episode will be in the works TONIGHT.

Everybody Plays Da Fool (Including You)

Like always, we want to give our thanks to the following people (you are so wonderful Sacramento! *blows kisses onto blog*):

Ask Fredrick
NoBeatings FromHolly
Survivalite
The 300 Room Lounge (for having us play)
The Capital Bowl
And you wonderful, beautiful people

Now it's time to get back to recording and mixing Slave To Love as well as book our summer tour. I don't know what it will be called yet, but you can put all your bets that Adam will think of something cleaver and funny... or just straight up stupid. Did you even hand your 10 bucks to make this vinyl happen? Yea, I will never shut up... someone has to teach you people a lesson that some things are worth 10 dollars (going to Target for low prices don't count)

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/symbolickjews/the-symbolick-jews-on-wax

A "picture" of Paul singing Friday.

Happy Dayz!

A happy birthday to our main man and drummer, Brian D! The man responsible for recording, mixing, and laying them sweet beats turns a one more year older today! His drumming resume includes projects like Mermaid Bones, Myonics, Big Hurt, Blond Kill, Lotus Feet, (Booty) Wizard, and the list goes on and on. He has also recorded a whole lotta bands that just doesn't end. Please Brian, continue not screwing up. We love you, papa!

Do I really need to remind you what you should be doing tomorrow? In the words of Al Borland, "I don't think so, Tim".

The Boys (and Girl) of Summer

Last night our lord and leader has sent out the dates for our summer tour. It looks rad so far BUT I'LL NEVER TELL. We're still in the stages of booking it and in Symbolick Jew fashion we like to drum up the drama and then give you the big let down afterward. I will give you a hint: one of our stops includes where the official Hooters hotel is.

Remember we're playing this Friday at a bowling alley. Don't forget your Homer Simpsons.
 www.capitolbowl4fun.com


And our deepest apologizes to Luis Castillo for being released by the Phillies. This is the second time he's been released this season and only in a few week time span! Don't worry Castillo. You're still a .351 hitting in my fantasy team.

Sorry everyone hates you now